Brown Paper Bags

All things from the produce go in plastic bags. All except mushrooms. They go in paper bags. They grow in dark brown dirt just to go into brown paper bags to sit in the bottom drawer of the fridge. The only other thing that goes in brown paper bags is moonshine...and barf. Barf goes in brown paper bags. Sometimes, if you get a cookie from a cafe, they give it to you in a brown paper bag. But those bags usually have the cafe name on it, unless it's an underground...no... what do you call them....independent cafe, then it may be a plain bag, in which case you can be assured that that is some crap cookie in there, let me tell you.