clean

I think i've tries tried to read through the Bible probably a dozen or so times before. I think I've probably stopped once i got to Leviticus. this time I'm determined to make it through. it all seems so meaningless... or is it?

There was such care and strategy placed on the Presence of God. Such holy reverence. A true and serious respect. Step by step, everything.. EVERYTHING was done right. Done exactly as the Lord asked. Done exactly how He wanted it.

Everything and everyone was so clean, so pure and so serious about the altar and the holy of holies. According to Jewish tradition, the priest had bells on the bottom of His robe, and a rope around his ankle. If the bells stopped ringing, it was assumed he had died in the presence of a most holy God, and the would pull him out by the rope.

Though I am eternally grateful that Jesus was the final sin offering, and that I can come boldly to the throne, sure of His glad welcome, I regret the way Christ followers today have forsaken the reverence and awe that Holy One of Israel demands.

I'm surprised at His mercy and patience with us. Time and time again, we defile His presence. We have forgotten the gravity of entering in. Grace says "Come in, the curtain was torn!" and I agree full heartedly. Yet, are we not to revere the Lord? Fear Him for He is holy? Consecrate ourselves that He may come? Jesus came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. Yet in the name of "grace" have we not disregarded the all that He wrote in the earlier parts of His Holy Book?

If we are to see the fullness's of His presence, if we are to receive all the He has for us, if we are to truly enter into the fullness of His grace, can I convey from my heart my deepest desire? Lord, would we not grieve Your Holy Spirit. Would we revere Your presence. There is more of You that we have not seen. I'm looking forward to the day when we cannot stand in the chapel, for our knees fall weak before You. I'm looking forward to the day when you come in power and overtake our services, our meetings, our worship times. Not only at church, please Lord. Please- overtake our homes, our families, our jobs. Our day to day. Holy spirit, forgive us. Forgive us. Forgive us.

"Who may ascend the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart. Who has not lifted us his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully... such is the generation of those who seek You, who seek your face, O God of Jacob...." Psalm 24:3,4,6

dancing in the fields.

There is this something inside of me that wants to have all my ducks in a row. I want to have everything under control. I want to know what we are doing, where we are going, and what I need to do to get us there. That is the role of an administrative type person.

But I've been thinking. I think God likes wildflowers.

Untamed, natural beauty. Grown not because it was in a green house, or in precise little rows. These small colorful beauties grow just because He wants them too. They grow where He wants them to, and how He wants them to.

I want to live a lot less like petunias and a lot more like fireweed. I want ministry too look a lot more like a lush meadow with tall grass painted with flowers of purple and white, and a lot less like an institution.

Maybe I don't need to have all my ducks in a row to find success in what He's doing. Maybe all I need to do is continue to water the things that He's already planted. Maybe then I'd spend a lot less time worrying and a lot more time dancing in the fields with the One who made the fields...

my altar

So I'm reading through the Bible in 90 days. Or at least trying to. It's not going so well yet, but it IS going, so... I'll stick with that. I'm hoping to catch up on my 20 hr ride to nowhere tomorrow. Don't know if I actually will, but it's a nice thought.

Pushing through Genesis caused me to see something. Altars.

It was so common for people to build an altar to remember the good God had done. We live in a fast paced society. We are a fast paced people. We rarely stop to breath, let alone remember. Even in our spiritual lives we run from one thing to the next. Always on the go, always heading forward- and fast. Never looking back.

I like the past. I like the things I've seen God do. I look back and say, "look at the pit from which I was hewn!" Look at where I was heading. Look at how good He has been to me! Look at that He's done! I kept reading, about the people and their altars, and how they'd remember and thankfulness rose up inside of me.

I'm so thankful for where he has taken me. I'm so thankful for all He has done with the youth, and at classic. I'm so thankful that He opens door for me, like Mexico. I'm so thankful that I was born here, that I have the parents I do, and the family and church family that I do. I'm so thankful that I'm supported and loved. I'm so thankful for the opportunities He's given me and the life I get to live. What a privilege. THank you Lord!

In running to "the next thing" and the "fresh revelation" and all those good things, may I never stop giving thanks, and may I always remember all that you have done. You are so faithful. Thank you.

CLASSIC 2010 "note"

.....What's that? ....its quiet.

I havn't heard much quiet these past few days....

I... I seem to be lost for words. another rarity.

Classic is over. Four days with 27 junior highers in the bush is done. It was, by far, the best classic yet. God is so faithful. Leading up to classic (or any big event really) I come under a lot of attack. A lot. Tons of doubt floods my mind and I consider throwing in the towel. time & time again. I know the truth that the greater the attack, the greater the breakthrough, but sometimes i wish it could be easier.

I saw kids hear Gods voice for the first time. I saw others get reunited with a heavenly Father who has been waiting to talk to them. I saw kids prophecy over each other. I saw kids encounter the undeniable presence of God for the first time. Get filled with the holy spirit for the first time, speak in tongues for the first time. With tears streaming down many faces, I saw kids get reignited and refilled. Stirred with fresh passion.

I saw the faithfulness of God to bring about the things that you've yearned for. Long for. Prayed for. Cried over and ached for. I saw Him come through.

I saw my heart reconnect with a place and a people that I have, at times despised. I long for distant shores, and it's hard to stay home. It's hard to keep plowing and planting when the soil is so hard here. It's hard ground, and there is often little fruit.

I saw good fruit this week. I'm so pleased. I got home and lay on my bed for moment with this joy in my heart as a Voice in my spirit spoke so clearly : "You conquered! you conquered!" I feel like God is smiling on me. I feel Him say "Well done, good and faithful servant" I think I needed to conquer, to override some feelings of defeat.

I saw Him changing me. I feel different now. I can't put my finger on it, but it's something. Something good.

I want to say that Classic is over, but .... I have a feeling that it's really only just begun.

( i guess i found my words... ) :0 Until next time

Jen