Sunday, August 28, 2011

straight up trade offs

This coming week, God is going to show up and this is what he's gonna do. He's gonna make us straight up trade offs. He sent me to tell you about it. I need you to know, cause He wants you to know. I'd tell you that He's dying for you to know, but He's already done that. It's past tense. He died for this straight up trade off. Here's what I'm talking about. Here where the promise lies:

Broken hearted? Comfort is coming. Captive? Get ready for freedom. In mourning? Favor is on the way - AND He's gonna rage on your enemies for you. Joy is coming to replace sadness. I'm talking about a party instead of this wake. Real, deep, life changing joy. This is the promise of our God.

It get's better.

The things built long ago that have been destroyed? They are being revived. There has been much shame, much dishonor. Here. God will do more than a trade off. Now we're talking upgrade. He's bringing a double portion. Twice the prosperity. Twice the honor. Joy everlasting. This is the promise of my God.

Why? Cause He HATES wrongdoing. He is so just. He's not only going to honor you for your suffering, faithful ones, but your children, and your children's children.

God is coming with this promise. I honestly believe that. I've returned to this passage time and time again in the week leading up to camp. Did I ever mention how much I don't even care about "youth groupie" things? God is coming. He is going to restore. This is the promise.

Monday, August 15, 2011

confident hope

"I pray that God, the source of hope will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romand 15:13

What do we know about hope? More, what do we know about confident hope? Hope has become this sort of wishful thinking. A plea of the heart for nice things to happen to us. It's a feeling inside of "maybe one days" and "wouldn't it be nice if's". Even the dictionary laces the definition of "hope" with a concept of "feeling". The idea of hope today is airy and without substance - so as I've been reading in the NLT and seeing this phrase "confident hope" I've been a little intrigued.Confident wishful thinking doesn't sound much like something I want to see overflow of in my life. There must be something more to this.

Let's look at this from another angle. Faith says "of course God can do this" whereas the prophetic says "God is going to do this in the future." This is where I think confident hope comes in- it's the prophetic mixed with faith. Confident hope says "of course God will do this in the future" And for the record, the future is not necessarily only 5 years from now. 5 minutes from now is also the future.

It's hard sometimes to have hope, let alone for it to be confident hope. Here is what I'd urge you to do: prophecy about your situation. Let God speak, and let that give you hope. When God breaths a word over your life, watch- hope will rise in you like you never thought possible. It's so easy to get words for other people. Allow Holy Spirit to speak a word to you about what is going with your stuff. Then trust His word. There is joy and peace that come when we trust Him with prophetic faith, by the power of Holy Spirit with us. God fill us with confident hope. I want to have confident hope.

Friday, August 12, 2011

clothed in His presence

Romans. Timeless truths. Today as I was reading this verse stood out at me: "So remove (cast off) your dark deeds like dirty clothes and put on the shining armor of right living.... clothe yourselves with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don't let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires." (13:12,14) Shining armor of right living. Clothe yourself in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. Wow. What a statement. What a perspective. What a call to higher living. We talk often enough about the armor of God, and we should. It's good. We think about putting on our belt of truth, holding our shield high and shodding our feet - whatever that means. But what about this: put on the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. What if that actually made it to our morning to do lists. "make coffee... eat breakfast... put on the presence... pack a lunch...." I do not in anyway intend to diminish or demean the gravity of that verse, believe me - but perhaps we're not being as intentional about the presence as we should be. Perhaps it's something that we need to remind ourselves of more often, not as some sort of magical formula to make us more spiritual, but as a realization that we are indeed the temple of the Holy Spirit. That He, despite our constant weakness and failure, continues to love us, and continues to offer us His presence.

We so often feel condemned about our "dark deeds"- but as we take those off, let us learn to accept the grace available also. Then in an attitude of gratefulness and genuine repentance, let us take up Christ, for it's only in His power that we can change anyways!

To "cast off" and neglect to "take up" is to me.... the same as the possessed man who is set free, only to have his "friend" come back with 7 more "friends" seeing that the house is clean and in order. Now he is worse off than he was in the first place. I am, perhaps more than anyone, aware that my deeds are not always perfect, but if I never "put on" after I "cast off" my deeds will find me, and I, in myself wont have the strength to do anything about it. We need His presence. And He offers it so readily. Clothe me in your presence.

Friday, April 08, 2011

im not going to fiji.

I couldn't help but notice... that.. I got screwed out of going to Fjij... again. it was about this time last year when the first grant proposal didn't go through, and my heart shattered, for loss of dreams hoped. Since then we've been trying. Reapplying. Twice since then. Once more rejected, now the third we had to pull because of all this political stuff going on. I hate it. I hate what's happening. I hate what it's doing to the work there. I hate how it's affecting my fjijan family who have to live through it there. I hate it all. That's my first concern. My fijian family, there. Planting so faithfully. Working for the Lord. They are hurt from this. But after that, I hate that I can't go there now. I've been dreaming for years (literally) to go back. It's been so up and down. I've wanted to run away there. To be a worker for the harvest. Away from the obligations and structures and paperwork of canada.... Away from the bratty kids who think that it's their right to have fun games, and get jones sodas and candy and to be on worship teams. They think they own it all. I don't remember the last sincere "thank you" that I got. They can be so spoilt.

Yet there, there is so little, that anything is exciting for them. I'm not fighting culture trying to be cool enough. I'm not trying to win their affection. Just that I'm there seemed to be good enough for them. If I was there... I could help plant churches. The one in the valley, by Labasa. Who is taking care of their youth? Who is teaching them the word and telling them about the power they have in Christs resurrection? Who is planning events for them, and doing fun things with them? Who is discipling them? It's not fair. Why am I still here? Why can't I go? When will it be time? I hate this.

I try to be content. I do. But the dream of going has kept me alive through some pretty hard seasons here. And now I can't go. I really haven't had much time to process that at all yet. I've been to busy convincing myself that I didn't care, and that it wasn't the right time, and that it's better to wait. But I do care. I am hurt. And this desire that I have wont go away. Even when life here gets so busy... it's still there... in the back of my mind, in my heart. Waiting for the time that my heart can go home. I dont know why I love it there so much. It hurts thinking about it, cause I know I can't go. And now I don't know when. And I hate that. I really do. I wish that I could end this in a word of hope- but this is one of the days that I dont see it. I hate this whole situation. Lord, restore that which was lost. That's all I know to say.

Friday, February 11, 2011

We Battle Not...

10 In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].

11 Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil.

12 For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.

13 Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].


We do not battle against flesh and blood... you know, sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I allow myself to believe that lie. That lie that people are my problem. That if those people, or that pastor or that person... or whatever. I'm not waiting for physical things. People are not my problem, in anything. It's so easy to blame people and allow discord and disunity come, but isn't that our enemy's plan? That we would fight each other, instead of him? Forgive me for pointing that gun (figuratively) in the wrong direction. Forgive me for getting confused and getting off track. I've got an enemy to deal with. Sometime I forget to have my game face on. Sometimes I loose sight of the prise, and sometimes I blame the wrong force. OK, alot of time. And in alot of situations. I think it's time we contended against who the actual enemy is. And I think it's time to forgive people. They were never my problem in the first place.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

a poem

I would not call myself a poet
by any sort of the word
yet I wish I had
the hand of a steady writer
to use my pen as a weapon
of which to change minds
and turn heads
and provoke thought.
I would turn
words
into beautiful meadows
in which to rest
and flowing waterfalls
under which to bathe
I'm not a poet
by any sort of the word
but I am willing.

-Jen Kelly

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a confession

we have not had youth for one month and 5 days. I have a confession to make. It's hard.

My work is ministry. My life is ministry. I have not been planning things, or writing sermons. And that's hard. So often I find my identity in what I do, and so often I forget to find it in who I am in Him. It's hard. I'm a little lost. I almost don't know what to do with myself. There have been many seasons in my life where i've felt I was drowning in stuff. This is not one of them. This is a season that's been very bare, and a little lonely. When ministry is all stripped away, I can feel kinda empty inside. And I don't like that. I need to remember in whom I find my identity...... And I need to get a lot of paper work done, which is not the part i'm missing or find identity in...

Sunday, January 09, 2011

unwritten proverb

An independent spirit, tamed, is a blessing. An independent spirit, untamed, is demonstrative & destructive. Nothing good can come from it.

....a little easier said than done.

Isaiah 61

I'd had this thought, like that this year is meant to be a year of healing. At first I thought it was just for me.... (it's amazing the kind of stuff that freedom sessions will bring up.) But as I keep going, and listening, and hearing what other people are talking about.... I think that this is, like most things, a lot bigger than me. I also think that this wont be the only entry I make on the topic.

See vs 1 and 2

1 THE SPIRIT of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound

2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] and the day of vengeance of our God....


Todays focus: to firstly proclaim the year of His favor. This is the year we will see His favor poured out on His people. Secondly: to proclaim the day of His vengeance. This is the year that we will see the vengeance of God poured out on those who deserve vengeance.

I'm really excited about the redemptive nature that I know my Father has. As Is 61 goes on, it describes more about the way God's economy works. Beauty for ashes. Joy instead of mourning. Praise instead of heaviness. My God is into restoration. My God is into healing.

Todays homework (whether you do it or not... I'll get you later anyways) but read through Is 61. Ask God if there is a verse that applies to what He wants to do in your life. You be surprised at the healing He wants to bring, if we'd just let Him...

until next time...

Saturday, January 08, 2011

136


It's 136 days till I get to go back to Fiji. I started a new journal today. One that I specifically bought for the trip, and the months leading up to it. It's taken me a while to get around to writing in it. Partially cause I think I've been dealing with a lots of my own stuff right now. Its hard to start new journeys while still sorting through the old ones- but I'm getting there.

I closed my eyes and pictured myself there. Sometimes I think it's the only thing that keeps me going in the day to day of ministry here. I've tried, desperately, to love my "here".. and I do... yet... still this longing.. but all that's ok. I get to now, live in the balance. I love 'this', and I'll love 'that'. And 'that' is in only 136 days.

I'm really excited about bringing people along on the journey. Every few days I get to talk to someone who is coming, or is thinking of coming along. I feel silly because each conversation I have gets me all giddy and smiley and stuff. I feel kind of silly, but then again... I don't care at all.

anything can bring me back there. A short video clip, a song, a picture, even a passing memory. I've been waiting a long time for this... over a year and a half to be exact. but soon... soon it will be time. and i look forward to it.