you know you're in whtiehorse for a while when...

your van is indefinatley in the shop.... there's no place like home.... there's no place like home.... there's no place like home....

You know youre in the yukon when...

there are no sinlge misquitos here in white horse. they are all married and have big families.

You know you live in BC when....

you know that the only thing past Hope is Hell's gate.
(and williams lake....)
(and I suppose I should mention north country and the Yukon where I am going in 2 sleeps.)
(ok it was just geographical humor....)

THANK YOU

this is a special thank you for all my fans who thew a surprise b-day party for me on my 2 weeks before I turn 19 day. You guys rock. Grey owl all the way. Oh hey, know what I never thought of..Robin Crusoe. (or however you say that)

later

you order a pizza?

I've been told that I should not go "looking for boys" I've been told I should just wait. "You never know, perhaps one day God will drop on on your doorstep"....but...you know... I don't think I want to marry the postman, or the pizza guy for that matter.

Santa Baby

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
sermon on the devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad."

Jones Soda Spelling Snafu...( by dairn peters)

I thought this far too funny not to share...

Recently, they have been searching for the red elixor at corner stores and gas stations and haven't been able to procure any Fu-Fu Berry soda. I thought this strange, so during my trip to Surrey yesterday I decided to drop by a few places and surprise them with my innate ability to successfully forage for Fu-Fu.

At the Chevron gas station, kitty-corner to the Johnston Heights Evangelical Free Church on 152nd Street, I looked at the glass case in dismay, as their Jones Soda selection was somewhat pitiful. As I was leaving the store, the man behind the counter asked if he could help me. I told him I was looking for Fu-Fu Berry flavoured Jones Soda. He said that he would look into ordering it, and proceeded to write it down on a piece of paper. However, in his ethnicity (and me in mine, I might add), he wrote down, "Jones Soda - Fruit Berry." I kindly repeated the name, Fu-Fu Berry, and he kindly repeated, Fruit Berry, back to me.

Now, if I was thinking about ten steps ahead of the game (like a champion chess player or captain of the Enterprise, Jean Luc Picard, for example), I might not have made the mistake of trying to tell him the correct spelling... out loud... to his face.

"No, it's Fu-Fu Berry, that's f-u, f-u..." At this point, my mind just realized what I said to the poor man (f...u, f...u), and I actually reached for his little pencil he was writing with. He repeated, "fruit berry??" to me in his broken english. I replied, "umm, no. It's Fu-Fu... (by this time I'm feeling rather silly saying Fu-Fu) ... f-u... f-... ummm, never mind. Thanks anyways."

Makes you wonder if this is exactly the scenario those Jones Soda people were snickering about when they thought up the Fu-Fu Berry name....

Things that don't add up.

They have "support dry grad" fund raiser at the liquor store. Isn't that a little....ironic? It's like putting a "support our obese" campaign in the bakery, or a "help our homeless" in real estate office. So, you can't have what I'm here to buy, alas I'll not only support me in getting it but I'll support you in not. Somethings mon amie, don't add up.

amazingly simple home remedies

(taken from an email david sent me..)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally:

Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

Grey Owl

History never looked better.

Bond, Jim Bond. (it's ok, we're friends)

It's about posting things that make you smile, right Leah?

it's like pulling teeth

That phrase used to hold some water, but now, they just gas you. I was on an interesting trip today. yesterday was valentines day. I was being "non dated". today, a whole new outlook on life. I got sedated. i woke up in another room, with a needle in my arm. you know when you're a kid and you go in the merry go round?? I felt the same way, but lying down. dizzy. I also left what little was in my stomach there, in a bowl I got the pleasure of hold bags of peas on my face all day. it brought new meaning to childish term so fondly known as "pee brain". also, i've been experiencing the joys of that which we lovingly call "T3's" I suppose I have been taught well.

and so, what now? one would ask. With four sources of wisdom gone forever, I need to do the only smart thing I know. I need to milk it for all it's worth. See you next week. I'm in recovery.

Roger that...

A recent favorite quote : "I'm not stalking you, I'm just keeping you company...."

I watch a movie last month. It was rated R for brief language, but I didn't hear them talk about tightie whities at all, the whole time. Speaking of brief, I'll make this short, because of it's nature....

I did some research. I have "the guys" email address and last name. I found a small, very small photo, about 2" by 2" and it doesn't even touch the concept of the word justice. now that info I could sell for more than 5 bucks....

over and out

Har har....groan...

So, I just got a phone call confirming the 60 lb of mustard I just ordered. And where can we drop it off? I love that you haven't hit puberty yet and the office you call from has other non puberty kids laughing in the back ground. Whatever happened to good ol' funny prank calls? Do you have jerry in a can?? ....yes sir, we do. "well then , you better let him out!!"
...well I think it was better than the mustard confirmation. Am I suppose to laugh now..?

I sink it's funny...

I don't know if I have raved about this one for a while.....raved is an interesting word....hold on a minute....back. here's a few definitions from dictionary.com Rave:

1.An extravagantly enthusiastic opinion or review

2.An all-night dance party, especially one where techno, house, or other electronically synthesized music is played.

3.(Chiefly British) A raucous party; a rave-up.

...interesting. I never thought of that. i mean the intense opinion and the all night dance party....same word...

anyways, i don't think I've raved about this for a while. the german coast guard commercial. It's epic.(you'll have to copy and paste the link)

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/commercials/German_Coast_Guard_2/

Jerry on the spot 1

In alot of ways, the book store is like a "smarter than you " store And that's why people are intimidated. Because to walk into a book store you have to admit that there is something that you don't know. And the worst part is, you don't even know where it is. You go into the bookstore and have to ask "where is this? where is that? Not only do I lack knowlege, I don't even know where to get it." So just to walk into a bookstore, you're admitting to the world, "I'm not too bright".

I love the word "beckons"

There's nothing in our "old lives" for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?"

--Eugene Peterson

Brown Paper Bags

All things from the produce go in plastic bags. All except mushrooms. They go in paper bags. They grow in dark brown dirt just to go into brown paper bags to sit in the bottom drawer of the fridge. The only other thing that goes in brown paper bags is moonshine...and barf. Barf goes in brown paper bags. Sometimes, if you get a cookie from a cafe, they give it to you in a brown paper bag. But those bags usually have the cafe name on it, unless it's an underground...no... what do you call them....independent cafe, then it may be a plain bag, in which case you can be assured that that is some crap cookie in there, let me tell you.

Holy Cow

Do you know what this calls for Marianne?!? This calls for BANANA BREAD.
....and that calls for MILK. I think that everything calls for milk. Maybe except....(thinking pause)jello. Jello doesn't call for milk. But everything else calls for milk. I love milk. I love milk so much that if I wasn't a christian I would be a hindu so I could worship cows. That's how much I love milk.

dancing with myself

I'm not a big card game person. I enjoy the occasional game, and
consider myself to be able able to handle a game well enough. Of all
the games one could think of to play, I am having the utmost
difficulty with one. Don't laugh. This is not a laughing matter. I
suck at solitaire. I know, how could it be?? Is that not a game that
you play........ Yes, it's a game you play alone. But I loose
every time. Literally, I have not won yet. If you, my friend think you
can do better, I'll challenge you. Next time you see me, I gladly hand
you my ipod and you can see if you can beat the blasted thing. It must
be set on extreme difficulty. I can't win, I just can't.