of concern

I was across the border this past weekend. I have a small concern. Canada could be filled with creeps and terrorist and all other sorts of evil villains, and "we just don't know. Can we trust someone we don't know about? We just dont't know. We are not making this up. We're not allowed to make stuff up . "(sorry, that one only a few will get) but really. I crossed the border with a group of friends. I not only needed a passport but a letter from my parents saying that I was allow to go. Gee, I felt cool. "daddy, can you pweese sign dis so I can go on the road trwip wif my frwends??" argg. So they let us into the states. Now this is completely not connected, but my starbucks cost me the same american as it would canadian. (Now THAT is unnerving in itself.) Anyways, here's the real issue. Coming back into Canada, there is a small toll booth type "hut" and they guy asked if where we were from, and what we bought. That was it. Not looking at documents. Who else have the let into my homeland?? Im slightly concened. You should be too. Just think, I could be a deranged murderer, and you are so oblivious that you even read my blog....

Out Cold

The clock screams. I wake up, the cold bites at my hands. The morning is dark. I dare not remove myself from the blankets that contain warmth. please, don't make me get out....the clock screams silently with red numbers that tell me to rise. Please...it's so cold...I can't. Frozen feet hit the floor, another morning has dawned, and other day of life begun.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't all the bad, but the hot water heater busted, and my house is cold untill it's fixed. This morning was like one of those harsh winter mornings when the air is so cold, you want to stay in bed all day just to avoid it, but you can't. When I opened my bedroom door there was a gush of warm air. Ah, warmth. Delighful, really. I suppose I could have slept with my door open and taken some heat from the gas fireplace downstairs, but who sleeps with thier door open anymore...

Bathroom Humor

Have you ever been to Moxies? I was at the one down town yesterday, and the coolest thing was in the bathroom . wait...first let's start from the beginnig. I love that restaurant. I love the decore, and the ambiance, or feeliing of the place.. I really like it. now that that's out of the way..., the bathroom, amazing. Huge room, TV, fire place...and when you look at the inside of the stall doors, the white plexy-glass-like-stuff changes color, but only from the inside.It is amazing, really. I was so impressed ( and perplexed at how they did it) that I went and excitedly told Sandra. She wanted to see, and myself, knowing that the food was far off, came along to see what she thought. She goes in the same stall I had view this wonder from. " ...it's not changing color..." Well, surely it is, I was just in there a second ago. I check the another stall. It changes color, as the first one did. Strange that Sadra could not see it... "But this one does..." I answer. ''Jen.." -hesitant pause-"it's the color from the TV' --laugher errupts from the bathroom as I realise my stupidity. Go to Moxies, it's really cool. Imagine, being showed up by the blond. Sorry Sandra.

enough

Hello, I'm calling ...hello, I'm calling on behalf of..calling....behalf...Hello.....argg. I 've definatly had enough. You know your job sucks when you don't want school to end cause you know you have to go to work... Thanks for your time, have a great evening, bye.

Me First

Say what you will.
Call it concern.
Call it complaint.
Some "draw the line"
I draw a circle,
slowly step inside
Lord, let revival start in this circle.

a horse of course

What are we teaching our kids these days? I was babysitting earler, and the girl I was watching got sick of playing school and looks at me and says, "do you want me to give you a tattoo?" So she pulls out this tattoo kit, I kid you not, made all purple and sparlky and you spray on tattoos. Are you not as shocked as I? I mean, are the biker types trying to get them hooked early? I don't know. I used to be all 'pro tattoo', now they repulse me, so my opinin on tattooed children may be biased, cause I don't really like tattooed adults either, but really guys, what is the world comming to? I though little girls are supposed to dream about being princesses in gorgeous gowns, and being swept off thier feet onto valiant steed, riding into sunset with prince charming. Not tight leather and pericings, being hoisted onto a harley and speeding off down the street to the bar with some guy who will wear his first, second and third girlfriends names on his arm untill he dies. What has become of childhood I ask you, what has become of it...harley or horse, you choose.

Weirded Out

One day a number of years ago, I was in the mall with my cousin doing christmas shopping. We're in some store and there's a guy working there. Rather fowl mouthed, and dispite his christian t-shirt and bracelet, he percedes to show us all the dirty shirst they have...calling them funny. I akwardly look away, trying not to create too much tention. Typical shopping experiance, but as a leave the store, I have this feeling in my spirit like Im not done with him yet. As if God was saying" No, you are not done with him yet." ( and no, this is not an "I like this guy I keep seeing." I would write the same for a girl) Not right then, but I was sure I would encounter him in the future. No kidding, the next night I saw him at a church service. Then maybe a year later at the a street church thing. Then later at a concert. Maybe a few other times too. Today, I saw him again. This time, today, at my school. I belive he is going to PLBC, I saw him talking to the secreary at the college office. ....I'm really weirded out. What is he doing here? Am I paranoid? Is this all coincidance? I don't even remamber his name. The few times I did talk to him, I didn't particularily like him. So weirded out...you have no idea.

IN, not through

So, if you read my last entry, you'll wonder how this happened. If you didn't...you can so that you understand, or you can not, and think that I am a pleasant girl.... here goes nothing...

From my back corner of the room, I can see almost everything. From the teachers whom I've come to love and call friends, to my classmates who are like family to me. I mean, really, I don't go to school with acquaintances, I go to school with people whom I have come to know by not just name but by preferences, favorite movies, laughs we have shared, inside jokes....Everything. These walls I have so long despised have become a comfort to me. A place I know as refuge. A place in which I have experience the finer things of life. These walls have become, dare I say...home to me. I know I can step into class and have a good laugh, a real good laugh. I can sit back and enjoy just being there. Yes- it is school. Yes I have to do work, but something I've realized is that when you can have fun in a "business" type setting, you know that you are among friends. I've heard it said that you don't know what you have until it's gone. I have, for the last 12 years of my life, counted down to this year. I have longed to get out of this place that I've been in. I can't wait to be all "growed up" But now, though I do look forward to graduating, I am, in my heart, at a stand still. I have a great school. I have a great life. I know people who I I really think are gifts from God. I appreciate them so much, and I can't dare to think that I would spend these last few months wasting this time. Wishing I was out. Counting down days rather than cherishing them. I don't know if you can see my heart in this. I hope you can. To make this truly honest, a tear just rolled down my cheek. I feel blessed. Truly blessed. I don't want to wish this season away. I don't want to waste these precious moments. I have it good where I am. Real good. If nothing else, you have realized that yes, Jen really is a softy. But if I portrayed my insides the way I wanted to, you're analyzing your life. Thinking about the things you have taken for granted, the people you know and that places you're at. The season of you life that God has places you in, not to count down to the next season, living simply through seasons but to live IN this one.
cheers,
and please don't hold my softness against me, I am not this way all the time...

all good things come to an end...

It is with great grief in my heart that I write this... I have enjoyed these past two weeks, the freedom of the "un sceduled" life. Where nothing mattered. Bed was but I place I went when I was tired, not a place I went cause the clock said so.... oh I don't know how I'll manage...it's been good, but I suppose all good things come to an end. Not very optmistic, but thats life. I don't know, it just that life with out the "i go to high school in the morning" seems to sounded better in my head. (here I go preaching at myself again) Im reminded of Ester, in the bible...For such a time as this....this...here now in highschool, though I wish to leave these four walls...oh how I wish....I think they hold me back...but I was ment to be here...and now ....We sing " I wanna be a history maker in this land" THIS land speaks of here and now... THIS time ...THIS season. if only THIS season seemed more appealing...