So, if you read my last entry, you'll wonder how this happened. If you didn't...you can so that you understand, or you can not, and think that I am a pleasant girl.... here goes nothing...
From my back corner of the room, I can see almost everything. From the teachers whom I've come to love and call friends, to my classmates who are like family to me. I mean, really, I don't go to school with acquaintances, I go to school with people whom I have come to know by not just name but by preferences, favorite movies, laughs we have shared, inside jokes....Everything. These walls I have so long despised have become a comfort to me. A place I know as refuge. A place in which I have experience the finer things of life. These walls have become, dare I say...home to me. I know I can step into class and have a good laugh, a real good laugh. I can sit back and enjoy just being there. Yes- it is school. Yes I have to do work, but something I've realized is that when you can have fun in a "business" type setting, you know that you are among friends. I've heard it said that you don't know what you have until it's gone. I have, for the last 12 years of my life, counted down to this year. I have longed to get out of this place that I've been in. I can't wait to be all "growed up" But now, though I do look forward to graduating, I am, in my heart, at a stand still. I have a great school. I have a great life. I know people who I I really think are gifts from God. I appreciate them so much, and I can't dare to think that I would spend these last few months wasting this time. Wishing I was out. Counting down days rather than cherishing them. I don't know if you can see my heart in this. I hope you can. To make this truly honest, a tear just rolled down my cheek. I feel blessed. Truly blessed. I don't want to wish this season away. I don't want to waste these precious moments. I have it good where I am. Real good. If nothing else, you have realized that yes, Jen really is a softy. But if I portrayed my insides the way I wanted to, you're analyzing your life. Thinking about the things you have taken for granted, the people you know and that places you're at. The season of you life that God has places you in, not to count down to the next season, living simply through seasons but to live IN this one.
cheers,
and please don't hold my softness against me, I am not this way all the time...
