hold your tounge

Never ask for somthing that you arn't ready for. I've been asking the Lord to do stuff in me. Make me into the person that He wants me to be. Those kind of upgrades don't acctually come free. They cost..oh do they cost...I'm having one of those days. You know the kind. The kind in which it feels like every ounce of patience you have is being tested. You have little if any left. Oh my tounge hurts from being bitten. So finally my family goes out. Oh my heart jumped. Time to myself. I could only have dreamed of this. Things were looking up. If all you're dealing w/ is yourself, patience comes all to easy. Then the door bell rang.----(long pause I made before moving towards the door) You have GOT to be kidding me. "All too soon" i spoke out loud...all too soon.. i expect to see my mom, getting somthing she needed but forgot. No it's not, it's my brother, home from a friends. My glass ball of freedom has been shattered right after if was given as a gift... Can't the world just leave me alone??? Can't I have some quite??? I'm glad you can't see the annoyance on my face...hostility...breath in breath out ...in ...out ...in ..out. I can't so this much longer...I'll look up. help me. show me reason. It's not like my world has fallen apart. Nothing drastic happened to me today. Just don't touch me, or come near me....20 feet may be safe...I don't know.You know what? I'm not going to do this anymore. I am going to try...no ...screw trying. Im gonna stop this childishness. I choose to be joyful...and aproachable. Being impatient is not fun. I don't feel nice on the inside. Why am I telling you all this?? Oh I don't know . Do they make bandades for your tounge?