The Simple Life

Speaking of such things as the simple life, a life less complicated, I was reminded of a story, a myth it almost seems in my head, cause I can't see it, it doesn't ring true, but apparently, when my parents got married, everyone thought they were crazy, but they both quit their jobs and they were going to "live off the land". now that's kickin it in the simple, less complicated life. It's just so hard for me to grasp cause I never knew my parents back then, I wasn't born yet. But the same that now will buy processed cheese once desired to live off the land. How much we change....

To be or not to be?

The drops poured down from the grey clouds for one of the first times this season. Driving in the rain I felt a certain sence of melancholy. Not a depressed state, but a thoughtful one. Sobering almost. I was thinking on people, relationships in general and as we drove, a line from shakespear ran through my mind...

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances..."

I felt, at that moment, unusually poetic, and so, as we would assume I "what the heck" ed, told the people around me what was going through my head, and we all laughed at my expense, an expense well spent. It was however a really wierd moment, so I thought I'd share it, for as you read this, truly you observe me on the stage, and now my exit comes. Adiue.

The Way I See It....

Life is too complicated. I mean, think about it. The other day I got a tall, sugar-free, hazelnut soy steamed milk. Or at a restaurant. "I'll have the steak burger" "is that a western, or a bbq?" "bbq" "would you like that blue, blue rare, medium rare, rare, medium well or well done" "in between a rare and a medium rare" "and is that with fries, curly fries, onion rings, soup or salad?" "uh, I better have that salad" "tossed, green, ceasar or vegetarian?"(ok I added vegetarian) "whats the difference between the tossed and the green?" "The green has more cucumber" "I'll have the tossed" "Is that with Mediterranean, thousand island, ranch, cool ranch , low fat ranch or herb?" "do you have a low fat cool ranch?" "Yes we do. Is that all or can I get you something else?" ".........thats all, thanks" "can I refill you water while Im here?" "Please"

What was the simple life? I dare say I never lived there. Yet here, in my world of choices, I find myself so often amused my the things I can choose from that I rarely have time to try any of them. Is this a bad thing? I think not, it simply ("simply") means that life, though complicated, will never be boring.

30GB of sanity

Encouraging introverts? Producing anti-social? What is the ipod generation? Here's what I'm thinking about. I turn on an ipod and dance around. I sing out loud. It doesn't' make any sense to anyone else, but cause they see the ipod, it's alright. Perhaps not completely socially acceptable, but at least we can smile and nod. The ipod-ee says "If only you could see hear what's in my head, you'd understand!"

I think I have the ipod way of life with out the little white box. I mean, though I have no ipod, I feel as though I constantly am saying "if only you could see inside my head, if only you could hear! Then, oh then you would understand." The ipod generation is off in their own world. Perhaps I've found that other world rather entertaining also.

Needless to say, new on JAKs Christmas list is a 30GB ipod. Now they are capable of carrying full length features, as well as pod casts and strong bad emails and teen girl squad episodes and all such good things. amazing.

Bikes, OJ and Oprah

Sometimes humans combine things that really make me question our..oh I dunno...sanity perhaps? Perhaps this is normal to you. Maybe you are not as wierded out as me. Stereo types make me laugh. They are so funny. It's like taking the good things in life and becoming an extremist of sorts. Here are two types of people who I never thought would work together. Let me introduce you to Mike. Mike is a fun loving guy who sees the benefit of keeping in top physical condition. He runs 3k each morning before he eats a bowl of those little circles we all love. Sing it with me now.."o-o-o-o cheerios" After that he'll head for his fitness room to ride the bike for a while. Mike, and his bike, love fitness. Joe in the other hand is a couch potato. Exercise is walking to the tv to change the channel when the battery is dead. To the fridge for another cold one. OJ that is. To the bathroom for, well, you know. Joe is a tv junkie.

Now let's try something, shall we? Let's take tvs, and put them on treadmill, on elliptical and on bikes. Is this only ironic to me? Is no one else laughing? Joe and Mike will never be friends. They're to stubbornly living the stereo type. Treadmill and TV's don't mix. They not only serve different purposes, they are arch enemies in their purposes. Treadmill are for running, being active. TV are for nothing, being lazy. sitting. comfort. relaxing. They don't mix, it's like putting a bed in the super market so you can sleep while you shop. You just don't. I saw this combo today and was confused. Now, If you'll excuse me, I have a runnig date with Oprah. Thanks.

tomato tomoto

Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing that it doesn't go in a fruit salad.

observing the wrong things

There's that song we sang as kids..."one of these things just doesn't belong here, one of these things just isn't the same..." Remember? This concept is used in the recent trident SPLASH gum commercials. With country music playing, line dancers at a saloon type pub are kindly joined on the dance floor by a guy in a neon green speedo. Every time I see it, I think of the song. The speedo is green to match the apple raspberry gum.

Having seen the commercial many a time, (even more after the Williams "lake too much tv" incidents....) I knew that it was green, for sure. No questions asked. Then, In Save On foods in williams lake, The giant cut out of this guy was in a red one ( a speedo that is. It was a good shade red for the commercial, but I was confused of why they switch, so I piped out, "hey, that should be a green speeedo" as a worker was passing buy. I didn't see his face, but I have come to the conclusion that that was the funniest thing that happened to him at work, and he went home to his family and discussed the comment over dinner. Then later, so perplexed at why I practically yelled out about a speedo, he looked up the web site to see the commercial. Thinking it was so funny, he went to his own blog and wrote about it, directing his friend to the site, and directing his best regards to, and I quote, "the girl at save on who weirded him out at first, but in a round-about way, showed me the path to this amazing commercial." Here's to splash gum, making williams lake exciting, one speedo at a time.

Long Awaited Arrivals

Months back I did a survey about what people thought of the polar bear on top of some hottub store in langley and if it increased business or not. Here's what a few people had to say: (it's a little long, but this is by request so..."bear" with me....(groan)

"some kids might want to climb up on the roof to play with the giant bear" -mel

"that idea is just as obsered as say,
"pinnapples?". Let's take the Coke Bear, because he
has been developed far better...
>>>It creates a picture for people to associate with
the product.<<<" -mark

"the polar bear is very important to the hot tub culture. It was hailed as a god to an icelandic tribe who invented the hot tub. Back then they built them out of stone and heated them with molten lava. The story goes that the cheif Unca uu lucnoi was adopted buy the polar bear cumunity when his family and tribe were killed off in a great war known as the war of the OIeau'ntain lands. The polar bear was hailed as god. This is very important to the ansetors of Unca uu lucnoi. Which are actually now a secrete society that control most of the hot tub and inground pool industry to this day." -dave

"The fact that you are talking about the polar bear, is proof that atleast
the marketing element of the bear is completely working" -joel

"the polar bear would increase the sales of the hot tubs becaues if a hot tub is good enough to keep a polar bear warm then it must be sufficient enough to keep us warm. " sarah

"did you ever relise that there was a hot tub selling place there before? well if you answer 'no' than the polar bear did it's job." --alicia

"this is the reason...and this case is a perfect example of marketing in action.
See, if you would have said "Yesterday I drove by Maximum Hot Tub and saw something cool", I would have had no idea what you were talking about. BUT, when you mentioned the giant out of place polar bear, I immediately knew the exact location you were talking about. Here is an example converstion to illustrate my point:
"Hey Jimmy-boy, have you seen that new patio set in front of Remmington's Discount Furniture?"
"Ummm....no, what's Remmington's?"
"You know, that store with the giant blow up three legged dog beside the road"
"AHHHH, yes...and I had noticed that patio set. In fact, I'll go buy it now"
--jon

"I think that if we see something that is supposed to be cold enjoying something that is supposed to be hot, then we will come to the conclusion, that everyone will enjoy a hot tub, if a polar bear enjoys a hot tub. "-jess

"I must say that the inflatable creatures (and objects) would not attract me to enter a particular building, and if the creature is hideous enough it may even deter me from entering. The only reason I beleive that these stores have these inflatable objects is to display thier wealth and power. Wouldn't you? It's like "Hey we have some extra money kicking around, what shall we do with it, Sam?" "Why don't we invest in a large and hideous (did I mention tacky) inflatable object to stick on the roof of our business...perhaps it will even draw in more customers, Frank..." "Good idea Sam, get on it right away will you..." "Sure thing Frank, after I'm finished this donut" (Yes I see them as middle-aged and slightly overweight)." -leah


"i think that businesses put HUGE polar bears and so forth on the roofs of the buildings in order to catch the eyes...like they did with yours....next time you drive by a place with something on the roof..if you get a chance..stop by inside the business and ask.."so what's with the polar bear" i'm sure they'd give you some clever answer..and if not..then they're lame..." -channy

"I think that it is a subconscience way in which business owners get people to remember their business and potentially go inside to see what it is." --brooke

A W N H T O C

While working in the cafeteria this week, I got the "privilege" of dealing with the asians who never have their own cutlery, or the AWNHTOC if you will. Well, every day around 12:02, a bunch of these AWNHTOC would come and ask me for a "pork" (translated fork) After three days of telling them "ill give you it today, but tomorrow you have to bring your own" one persistent AWNHTOC came and asked me once more. Sternly, I put on my best authoritative voice, breathed in and let out a good strong, but not scary, "No". Dejected the kid walked away. I felt bad, but hey, I told him 3 times already. I went back to work only to be interrupted not 3 minutes later by the little guy. He looked at me with his deep brown asian eyes and said with a slight plea in his voice "spoon??" Needless to say, I promptly got him the fork he wanted in the first place. Silly little AWNHTOC.

Personality Crisis

There's a new york dolls song entitled "personality crisis" I don't know what the rest of the songs about, but on the topic of personality crisis. It's like, you know who you are, what your about, what your doing and it's all good. Then, by some freak chance you find yourself in a very different place in life. Today, I found myself in a whirwind of uncertainty. Life didn't make sense. The things around me were so blurred, so confusing. All this ended with a clashing sound as I put cash down on the counter. My purchase was bagged, and I headed out of the store. Who am I? How can I think the things I do and yet fall so low? I don't understand. Who is this face I see in the mirror? I bought pants today. Beige pants. Here's the biggie. They're from the GAP. It's ok, my name is still the same, you can reach me at the same phone number, my person is ok, but I don't know who I am. I purchased something from the GAP. I'm so lost. Please, don't treat me any differently, this situation is hard enough as it is. I heard that when you fall in the bottomless pit, you die of starvation. Does body have some luchables? or a juice box? ...I love you too Bret.

change of heart

Before I say anything, I would like to apologize for anything I have said about talking to strangers. It was a load of crock.

Number one worst "opening line" sent my way (the line to start conversation) : "Do you have any rolling papers?" --enough said.

Number one thing not to say to a girl who looks like she is not interested in talking to you: "So can I call you sometime...or am I too much for you?"

Number one worst place to be when such things are said: Waiting for the train, alone sitting inbetween the black guy saying this and a middle age brown guy who thinks you want to know in his broken english about his job at the liquor store.

Number one thing to do when this happens: Go to the next car on the skytrain when it comes.

Number one other thing to do: Pray real hard (as if you weren't already) when the black guy shows up in your train after a few stops.

He left the next stop after I told him I was reading "Battle cry for a Generation" I asked God to kick him off the train.
(and the brown guy stopped looking interested when I said I was going to school to maybe be a pastor)

Now at my last stop, another guy who had seen the black guy talking to me, and saw the look on my face, was concerned if "my friend" was getting off at the same stop. It was the end of the line so ya buddy, he is. The concern in his voice was comforting, so I asked if I could walk off the train with him. He didn't seem to mind, and I knew my ride was right there anyway.

All this to say SCREW functioning member of society. I hate the skytrain.

mumsdollar

I don't know how to creat an official link, but check out this bands myspace sometime, they seem alright.

http://www.myspace.com/mumsdollar

dangerous cookies

Today I went door to door talking to strangers and inviting them to summerjam (the awesome concert that I will be working during....such is life, eh?) But no, I thought I'd give you an update. I still talk to strangers, and hey, so long as they speak english (I had a few flash backs to ministering in mexico where no one understands english, and really, surrey can be something of a little india is what I'm getting at) Really, talking to strangers on the skytrain, that's really puts you in very little danger, but perhaps this door to door stuff could pose more of a problem. Really, I'm just a girl. I talked with some mean looking guys today. I kept picturing this cage of girl guides in the basement. All they were doing was selling cookies. "Really sir, they are only 3 dollars. No I don't want any candy...uhh....no, I don't want to step inside that metal cage......" Yet my mom tells me not to talk to strangers on the train, but door to door in Surrey, now that's better...hmmmm maybe I can check the girl guides blog while she's down there..

Hey Stranger

"Be safe" "be careful" "look before you cross the street" "don't talk to strangers" common sense. All of it. Or at least I should hope.But is one really more careful if told to be so? I don't think so. Do we look before crossing the street because of instruction or out of instinct? And as for strangers, what's so bad about them? I ride the skytrain to work (like a functioning member of society, perhaps another tale for another time) And I am always so tempted to talk to people. Something inside me. Perhaps I don't like to do nothing, and I like to talk, so instead of sitting in silence on the 10 minute ride to work, I would rather chat. But I have been told, no ...trained.....no....I have been brainwashed to not talk to strangers, so I hold my tongue. Sometimes I literally bite down on it to refrain from talking. Why? That's what I'm to do. My Dad talks to strangers all the time, why can't I? I mean, I won't go talking to the guy across from me who smells of alcohol, or the angry couple using other f words than frivolous, frugal or (crap, I still don't remember the third) but maybe the middle aged lady with pain in her eyes, or the old lady who looks so at peace or the young girl pushing a stroller that should be holding her younger sibling but it isn't. Maybe I can talk to them. Cause for real, like everyday, I want to talk to someone, but I don't....Cause they're a stranger, but....then again, you and I were strangers once too....and really, you even check my blog now....

frozen bikes and a working mind

So, I worked for the first time today. Here is what working does to you. I'm talking on the phone with Amanda, right? and I told her that her bike was in the fridge. Yes, that's right Amanda, your bike is in the fridge. No, I left it in the garage, but in my mind after working for the first time in a while, it's in the fridge. I hope this isn't going to happen every time I work...it's no fun to ride a cold bike anyways.

who's Jimmy?

"I have to tell you something....I saw you with Jimmy last night"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent now. I know what I saw."

"....I ...I didn't want you to find out like this."

"You know, I thought you were you were my friend. I really did...I can't even look at you right now. Just....just get out of my car."

as seen in JAM PRODUCTIONS TV Sucks

"F"rivilous

Nothing humors me more than this: "just because" It's this concept, this way of life that truly gets me by. Just because I can, just because I want to, just because it's there. It's a sort of justification for frivolous acts. Frivolous; you may wonder what I mean by that. According to the dictionary, it is Inappropriately silly. I thought that was so funny. Children, yes, children are frivolous...or are they wise? They do what they want, when they want. (and have fun doing it) Why? Just because. Perhaps this sounds ignorant, maybe even immature, but why have we stopped? We never do what we want when we want, and the genius ideas we have never happen. Why? I don't know. We can never justify our frivolous acts. We live with a necessity of reason and necessity of purpose. For life as a whole, of course I agree, but perhaps, (maybe even today), do something you want to. Be inappropriately silly. ...and please, do it just because.

And that's an order!

My mother is great for telling me what I have to do. (oh joy, I love taking orders...) On the way home, a common thing she'll ask is "...and what is the first thing you're going to do when you get home??" Today, pausing for only a second, I reply sarcastically " Go outside and tan. " "Right!" came the reply ....what? ...really? Are you for real? Yes folks, it's true. My mom told me that I had to go out and tan. (it's so I look better in a dress) it just sounds funny comming as an order.

Rafting with Jovi

Going down the thompson river, where if you were standing still, 80 thousand cubic feet of water would rush past you every second, I found my self holding on for dear life. While doing this, I sang. Whatever came to my head really. My favorite of all these was "hold on to what we've got. I doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We've got this ROPE and thats alot..." I think you get the picture. Sing it a few times in your head till it's stuck. Once again, thanks bon jovi.

"No more idols for you"

I recently produced a short film entitled "Graven Image" It retold the events that took place on the mountain between God and Moses. One of the actors starring as "the candy man" was Jed . Jed passed away yesterday. I was in shock. Big shock. I would like to dedicate Graven Image to him. He was a little "hard headed" at times, but "gnome" matter what, he will always be remembered.Though I have not met his twin, I have heard that they look identical. This will be good for me if I want to make a sequal. Never the less, his memory lives on in "Graven Image" this one's for you man, this one's for you.

note:you know you are oober cool when you quote your own work....