beautiful

I've been relizing something about girls recently. I sat down intending on writing something about pride and prejudice. i was going to go for a sappy "I thought it was so wonderful" kind of review, but I can't. Not because the movie wasn't wonderful, but I have other things to say. As I was saying at the beginning, I've been realizing some things about girls recently. Has anyone told you today that you are beautiful? I've been observing something I havn't taken the time to appreciate before. I've been seeing what I haven't before, because I'm looking where I haven't been. I've seen beauty. Not outward beauty. Not just another pretty face. It's your heart girls. I think that your heart is beautiful. There is something about your heart, I cannot even begin to describe how precious it is. So delicate, so deep, so lovley. I don't know where all this is comming from. I suppose I just begun to take appreciation for what I never did before. Im not ususally this sentimental, it's just that this concept has struck me these past few days. Your heart is beautiful. I hope you belive it too....I suppose that captivating is getting to me. Let us blame this on that....yes let's.There's some lamo country sounding song the goes "she don't know she's beautiful" ...(i dont know any other lines...) but I think that so many don't know they are beautiful cause they think that beauty resides in the mirror. It does not. it comes out in your laugh, it comes out in you conversation, it comes out in your attitude. You beauty comes out when you live. When your attitude is radiant, your beauty shines through. I am convinced. Nothing on earth is more beautiful then a womans heart. Girls, you are beautiful.

You lazy dog...

I have a question to ask. if anyone could give me a rather beleiveable answer, that be way cool. Why "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" Why? where'd it come from. Why do we use it. It is used to show fonts, thats the only place i think Ive seen it. very strange...very very strange...maybe it a code of some sort, and they sent it all over the world....I knew they were up to somthing. In other news, fav quote of the day " I love them!! I love them !! You hate them compared to how much I love them!!" (it's from madagascar....)

Foreign Food

The other day I went on a grand adventure with my good friend. We embarked on a mission to find china town. The intent being that we would buy Chinese food to eat. I found very little of interest, and long and short of it, ended up purchasing a steam bun from the steam bun store in Whalley, across from Safeway. Hey, at least being white didn't make me a minority in whalley.....

Days Like Today

So, I'm walking down the street, and I says to myself (I knew it was me cause I recognised the voice) "It looks as thought it might rain...." You know, I heard a little saying (seeminly one to many times) that the rain in spain stays mainly in the plain. I wish that surrey was spain, and not just to upgrade the our ghetto biulding to cool ones either. It simply rains far too often.....and of course then you have days like today....

Today started out like a normal day, although the frost on the grass threw me off a little. School starts, I'm studying (biology mind you...see, I told you "I'm a good girl I am!! AYYY!!) "Look" cries one "It's snowing!!" and by golly, he was right. Snow. In March. How am I suppose to get into the "swing of spring" if the weather starts to play these kind of tricks??? Outrageous, really. It was a confuzing day, But on the other hand....

It was a gIorious day. i loved it. it was so beautiful. I stood outside in the snow just looking at it, allowing the snowflakes to land softly on my face. They were such large flakes, they look as if they wer feathers softly floating...I twirled around, as if I hadn't a care in the world, simlpy enjoying the moment, eating it up, if I may. It was almost magical....I love days like today

But this weirdo skitsophrenic weather has got to stop. I love the snow, but then, take a look outside. What do you see?? Nothing! You can't even tell that it snowed, and thats "snow good" at all. As if the weather said I'm rain, or am I sun, I'm snow, or even hail. My name is Fred, I'm Bob, Nice to meet you, I'm Joe, or better yet Cindy. ....umm (insert some joke about talking to yourself here, I can't think of any...) I guess I just don't understand days like today.

E M O

This is an emo picture. I really can say little else about it. Once, we thought we were "hardcore", now we know, chelle, you're emo.

M(y) emo note book. I'm so sad.

Disclamer: we none of us really are emo....or sad for that matter...so far as I know....

Love sick...or just sick

There was song I heard long ago...it goes sometimes like this..."And oh, Im the great pretender....Pretending in all my ways ..." So here goes nothing. I love biology. I enjoy it, find delight in it. I think about it while I'm at school and while I'm at home. I find entertainment in it. I can never get enough of it. Its just so blooming fun.

Did I convince you? I hope so, cause if you could convince me of it, life would be easier......well, back to the books....(rolling of the eyes)

My Fair recommendation

I watched My Fair Lady the other day. I must say, that movie is absolutely delightful. I grinned on the inside most all of the time. I laughed often, and snickered when I wasn't laughing,( though it wasn't meant to be a "laugh out loud" comedy) I really found it to be quite a smashing success. It was marvelous, a genius work of art. It was, I lower my head to say, a musical. I am not fond of musicals, and that would be an understatement, but I loved this one. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the songs added to the story and plot, they weren't just songs, they were important ideas to the film, only in verse and rhyme. The scripting was so clever and witty. Classic, most definatly a classic. If you have yet to indulge yourself in this epic movie, it's not too late, and I dare say, I recommend it.

heres our Flippin' Awesome standard

Ignite held alot of things for me. Though the speakers were great, I learned the most from just being there and playing my part. I didn't go to Ignite intending to receive. I went to give. I went to pour out. In doing so, in creating that flow in my life, God was able to pour in to me. If you come intending to receive only, you can only fill up to full, but when you are pouring out, that's when God gets to FLOW through you. The whole weekend was amazing. We did so much. From our worship to our video, we more than "one upped" ourselves from last year. To sum up the weekend in one word, I would have to say freedom. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. We danced on Satan. We crushed him under our feet. Hands once chained were lifted up in reckless abandonment and absolute worship. Seeing that release of freedom was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Ignite was, as we like to say at firestorm, flippin' awesome.

habitual sin

Whether one defines it as sin or action taken because of the present circumstance, I have done it again. Wait--let me correct myself. I have done it again and again and again. Every time I'm at a store, I look for purses. I have even taken my free time and made specific trips just to look for a purse. (so I did once, but still--once is still one too many) wait-- twice. Oh man, thats like double sin....what has become of me?? Either way, the present circumstance of the nature in which I carry belongings is screaming to one horrible conclusion. That I must get a purse. Whats worse is that I want to get one that goes with my jacket. As in "looks good with". Without clash. Coordinating colors. eww...

In other news, I started a habit of drinking green tea. I like it now. I never thoght I would. It beats making my own coffee in the mornings though...

Exerpts from Exodus

So Moses is talking with the burning bush. God's talking about bringing the israelits to the wilderness for a little worship retreat. God even goes to the extent to say that the israelits will have favor in the eyes of the egyptians as they leave, and that when they leave, they won't be going empty handed. Good deal- then Moses pipes in. "Suppose the people won't believe me or listen..." I imagine God shaking His head. "what's in you hand?' ....I imagine a pause from our friend ..."a rod..." comes the timid reply. "That'll do." ...a sigh of relief comes on Moses's part. "Gee, now that I know that this rod will save my neck...Im so glad we cleared that up God.." No. I think Moses still didn't get it. God does go on to demonstrate His power which clams the fears of our friend. God ended up doing some crazy things with that rod, the climatic moment being the parting of the red sea.
Down to our level. There's things that God asks us to do. Small things, big things...whatever. We're all like..."ok God, good plan but 'suppose' (fill in excuse here)" and He asks "what's in you hand?" And we're like "not much, just this( fill in seemingly useless item here.) " " Good" comes the reply "One day we'll part the waters with it."

JAM

an email I wrote...
"So if I desired as to eat a sandwich, would there be sufficient supply? Or would I make the effort to bake bread, (350 F ) cut it with a knife on a white plastic cutting board as well as spread the peanut butter( hopfully it's the creamy kind, the other is too "nutty", of course...it is peaNUT butter after all...) and would I do all this only to find tartinade in the cupboard? not only that. First of all, it isn't even marmalade, they couldn't even give me that, but it's all the way at the back of the cupboard, near the tapioca mix and the icing sugar. I made the effort once to get the right stuff, but there was only an imposter...plus I had to reach back so far... It is rather out of the way.

Translation: Is there the jam at your place tomorrow night? I don't want to make a trip for nothing. I appoligize if I am so confusing..I am what I am.... "

identity crisis

I have hit, what I shall refer to from now on, as ROCK BOTTOM. I don't know what do do with myself. Who am I? what has become of the Jen I know?....I don't know. Today I...I can't even say.This is like an unforgivable sin. A wrong doing that has wronged me to the depth of who I am. Ok, I do it all at one time.*deep breath*... I went shopping for a purse. --akward silence..... hey, did you hear that pin drop? I could have sworn I heard a pin... no? But you havn't heard the half of it. I was saved from ultimate condemnation and shame because I didn't find one, but...instead of a purse I walked away with hiar accessories, necklaces and body spray. Is this not worse? Maybe not. The purse was intentional...like a pre-planned murder. The other stuff was "in the moment" and self defensive...(against sales that is). But in defence of my own pride, I was looking for more of a shoulder bag so to speak, then I was a purse. I found lots of purses, but I need just the right one. Unique but not tacky (at least not too tacky) small, but still useful. Classic, (so I don't need to go through this experience again anytime soon) yet modern enough that it dosn't look like it came from my grandmothers closet. I ask alot, but this whole ordeal is costing me alot, not in money necessarily, but if pride had points, all my brownies could be concidered eaten right about now. Since I'm here at rock bottom, could somebody pass me a lunchables....or a juice box? ....aww...I love you too Bret.

of concern

I was across the border this past weekend. I have a small concern. Canada could be filled with creeps and terrorist and all other sorts of evil villains, and "we just don't know. Can we trust someone we don't know about? We just dont't know. We are not making this up. We're not allowed to make stuff up . "(sorry, that one only a few will get) but really. I crossed the border with a group of friends. I not only needed a passport but a letter from my parents saying that I was allow to go. Gee, I felt cool. "daddy, can you pweese sign dis so I can go on the road trwip wif my frwends??" argg. So they let us into the states. Now this is completely not connected, but my starbucks cost me the same american as it would canadian. (Now THAT is unnerving in itself.) Anyways, here's the real issue. Coming back into Canada, there is a small toll booth type "hut" and they guy asked if where we were from, and what we bought. That was it. Not looking at documents. Who else have the let into my homeland?? Im slightly concened. You should be too. Just think, I could be a deranged murderer, and you are so oblivious that you even read my blog....

Out Cold

The clock screams. I wake up, the cold bites at my hands. The morning is dark. I dare not remove myself from the blankets that contain warmth. please, don't make me get out....the clock screams silently with red numbers that tell me to rise. Please...it's so cold...I can't. Frozen feet hit the floor, another morning has dawned, and other day of life begun.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't all the bad, but the hot water heater busted, and my house is cold untill it's fixed. This morning was like one of those harsh winter mornings when the air is so cold, you want to stay in bed all day just to avoid it, but you can't. When I opened my bedroom door there was a gush of warm air. Ah, warmth. Delighful, really. I suppose I could have slept with my door open and taken some heat from the gas fireplace downstairs, but who sleeps with thier door open anymore...

Bathroom Humor

Have you ever been to Moxies? I was at the one down town yesterday, and the coolest thing was in the bathroom . wait...first let's start from the beginnig. I love that restaurant. I love the decore, and the ambiance, or feeliing of the place.. I really like it. now that that's out of the way..., the bathroom, amazing. Huge room, TV, fire place...and when you look at the inside of the stall doors, the white plexy-glass-like-stuff changes color, but only from the inside.It is amazing, really. I was so impressed ( and perplexed at how they did it) that I went and excitedly told Sandra. She wanted to see, and myself, knowing that the food was far off, came along to see what she thought. She goes in the same stall I had view this wonder from. " ...it's not changing color..." Well, surely it is, I was just in there a second ago. I check the another stall. It changes color, as the first one did. Strange that Sadra could not see it... "But this one does..." I answer. ''Jen.." -hesitant pause-"it's the color from the TV' --laugher errupts from the bathroom as I realise my stupidity. Go to Moxies, it's really cool. Imagine, being showed up by the blond. Sorry Sandra.

enough

Hello, I'm calling ...hello, I'm calling on behalf of..calling....behalf...Hello.....argg. I 've definatly had enough. You know your job sucks when you don't want school to end cause you know you have to go to work... Thanks for your time, have a great evening, bye.

Me First

Say what you will.
Call it concern.
Call it complaint.
Some "draw the line"
I draw a circle,
slowly step inside
Lord, let revival start in this circle.

a horse of course

What are we teaching our kids these days? I was babysitting earler, and the girl I was watching got sick of playing school and looks at me and says, "do you want me to give you a tattoo?" So she pulls out this tattoo kit, I kid you not, made all purple and sparlky and you spray on tattoos. Are you not as shocked as I? I mean, are the biker types trying to get them hooked early? I don't know. I used to be all 'pro tattoo', now they repulse me, so my opinin on tattooed children may be biased, cause I don't really like tattooed adults either, but really guys, what is the world comming to? I though little girls are supposed to dream about being princesses in gorgeous gowns, and being swept off thier feet onto valiant steed, riding into sunset with prince charming. Not tight leather and pericings, being hoisted onto a harley and speeding off down the street to the bar with some guy who will wear his first, second and third girlfriends names on his arm untill he dies. What has become of childhood I ask you, what has become of it...harley or horse, you choose.

Weirded Out

One day a number of years ago, I was in the mall with my cousin doing christmas shopping. We're in some store and there's a guy working there. Rather fowl mouthed, and dispite his christian t-shirt and bracelet, he percedes to show us all the dirty shirst they have...calling them funny. I akwardly look away, trying not to create too much tention. Typical shopping experiance, but as a leave the store, I have this feeling in my spirit like Im not done with him yet. As if God was saying" No, you are not done with him yet." ( and no, this is not an "I like this guy I keep seeing." I would write the same for a girl) Not right then, but I was sure I would encounter him in the future. No kidding, the next night I saw him at a church service. Then maybe a year later at the a street church thing. Then later at a concert. Maybe a few other times too. Today, I saw him again. This time, today, at my school. I belive he is going to PLBC, I saw him talking to the secreary at the college office. ....I'm really weirded out. What is he doing here? Am I paranoid? Is this all coincidance? I don't even remamber his name. The few times I did talk to him, I didn't particularily like him. So weirded out...you have no idea.

IN, not through

So, if you read my last entry, you'll wonder how this happened. If you didn't...you can so that you understand, or you can not, and think that I am a pleasant girl.... here goes nothing...

From my back corner of the room, I can see almost everything. From the teachers whom I've come to love and call friends, to my classmates who are like family to me. I mean, really, I don't go to school with acquaintances, I go to school with people whom I have come to know by not just name but by preferences, favorite movies, laughs we have shared, inside jokes....Everything. These walls I have so long despised have become a comfort to me. A place I know as refuge. A place in which I have experience the finer things of life. These walls have become, dare I say...home to me. I know I can step into class and have a good laugh, a real good laugh. I can sit back and enjoy just being there. Yes- it is school. Yes I have to do work, but something I've realized is that when you can have fun in a "business" type setting, you know that you are among friends. I've heard it said that you don't know what you have until it's gone. I have, for the last 12 years of my life, counted down to this year. I have longed to get out of this place that I've been in. I can't wait to be all "growed up" But now, though I do look forward to graduating, I am, in my heart, at a stand still. I have a great school. I have a great life. I know people who I I really think are gifts from God. I appreciate them so much, and I can't dare to think that I would spend these last few months wasting this time. Wishing I was out. Counting down days rather than cherishing them. I don't know if you can see my heart in this. I hope you can. To make this truly honest, a tear just rolled down my cheek. I feel blessed. Truly blessed. I don't want to wish this season away. I don't want to waste these precious moments. I have it good where I am. Real good. If nothing else, you have realized that yes, Jen really is a softy. But if I portrayed my insides the way I wanted to, you're analyzing your life. Thinking about the things you have taken for granted, the people you know and that places you're at. The season of you life that God has places you in, not to count down to the next season, living simply through seasons but to live IN this one.
cheers,
and please don't hold my softness against me, I am not this way all the time...